Journal

CLYTIGATION #3 Mar 14, 2015

by Kyle Loven

Ok. I'm typing this on my phone, which seems appropriate in some technological invasion spewing of words sort of way. I've also decided to not delete anything that I've already typed. The errors will remain. I'm just in the door from Michelle's world of boxes and constructed realities and disembodied commanding voice. I'm thinking about the man trapped in the box, being told what to do. When to snap, when to eat, when to hang yourself. It's funny when your the viewer but how frightening if you're the man. Is someone laughing at me now? He exists in a void which is presented as some concrete shifting reality to those of us on the outside. I asked the man on the phone when the world would end. He asked me if I really wanted to know. I said I didn't. We exchanged farewells and then my voice, or the voice guiding me was gone. I don't really want to know when the world will end. His answer made me think that he really did know though! He just didn't want to tell me. It put me in a box like the guy in the box. I had pressed the red button and heard a big bomb noise and everyone laughed. I couldn't even see the effect it had. I was just the guy pressing the button. (I just paused in my brain for a long time and thought about not taking any pancakes and all of the Michelle's in barrels and boxes) And what about all of those boxes? Weirdly, it never made me feel claustrophobic. Is it because there was still holes? Portals to the outside? Or at least to somewhere outside the box? I feel like I should have felt claustrophobic. Maybe I like being in boxes. And then Michelle appeared in the flesh! And she talked about tragedy and then disappeared into the patio chair. It was an Add-a-ron-dack chair which I never know how to spell. Why am I sharing things now? The whole experience made me more comfortable, maybe because I thought it wasn't happening to me. I was simply controlling someone else's play speed or projected presence or weather conditions. But now I feel like the guy. Or I feel like Michelle's voice instructing at lightning speed. Can I be both? Am I both instigator and affected? I haven't hit ENTER yet. It's like the typewriter. I didn't hit ENTER. I did put the quarters in. A lot of quarters. They were just sitting there. It wasn't even my quarter which made it easier to put in. It wasn't my red button. It wasn't my black pull handle. It was like an arcade of affecting others' perceptions and experiences. Altering their world just to see, because I could. When I was pressing this and pulling that it was all for selfish reasons, because I wanted to see what happened. It's only now that I realize how much my actions and desires changed the reality for others. Power is scary.

Sent from my iPhone

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